Venting...

I can't take school anymore. I feel like I could study my ass off and work hard at it everyday and no matter what I still wouldn't do well. I've been so stressed out lately that it's come to the point where I've felt like I was going to break down--both emotionally and physically. School has never EVER been this hard for me...I could take all four years of my high school career and pile it all on top of each other and it still wouldn't be as hard as this anatomy class is for me. (Studying for it is what I should be doing right now instead of typing up this blog)

The closer that it gets to February, the more and more I keep stressing. Pretty much, my whole future depends on if I do well in these classes this semester and get into hygiene school. If I don't get in, I seriously don't know WHAT I'm going to do.....maybe take a year off and reapply the next year? I don't even want to think about it....

I've been interning at the dentist office and I absolutely LOVE it. I can't imagine doing anything else with my life; THIS is what I want to do. It's so flexible, good money, and I actually enjoy working in those little kids' mouths...gross to some people, haha but I love it and I love being able to help people without technically having their life in my hands. This interning is adding on to the stress though; 7am on a Saturday morning, I want to be in my BED--not in the dental office. That's why I had to take a break from working like I do at Texas. I definitely cannot work Friday night there, Saturday morning at the dentist, Saturday night at Texas, and a double Sunday at Texas like I had been doing. So now I have the next three weeks to study...and just relax a little :)

On a positive note, things with Drew and I are absolutely amazing. I haven't been this happy in SOOOO long...and it's so nice to finally have someone who I can feel like I can put all my trust into. Of course, I'll always have my slight doubts like I'd have with anyone, but I'm amazed at myself for actually being able to trust anyone at all after all the things that Shawn did to me. I'm SO happy that I made the decision to completely end things with him...because I would never be as happy as I am today. I'm head over heels in love...and feeling like that again is such a shock and scares the shit out of me every day to have my heart in someone else's hands. But I think it's in the right person's this time--and I wouldn't change it for the world :)