Lessons Learned

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some better endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wonder how I get through the night,
Every change life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
All the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because they are gone,
Lessons learned.

Ahh I love Carrie Underwood :)

Well I didn't put that song up there just because I like it; although I do happen to LOVE it...but it pretty much sums up everything I wanted to write in this blog. These past couple days have been complete CHAOS in my head; I don't know what to think about anything anymore. I've always been the person that seems like they have their love life under control--but seriously, I haven't got a clue anymore.

I've never been told what to do by anyone other than my parents, and for some reason, in this relationship, while I'm not told exactly what I can and cannot do, I feel like I'm being made to feel bad about going out on a regular basis. I'm 18 years old, and maybe that's the problem with dating someone older. They've had their years to party, but what the heck, I'm just starting mine--and I happen to love it. It's so much different once you turn 21. You can sit around and be like "hey, lets go get a drink" and then go to a bar or restaurant, whatever. It's so much different for underage people like myself.

Pretty much, I could go on and on about all the things that bother me, but I'm going to choose not to for the sake of whomever may read this. But to put it bluntly, I just don't think I'm happy anymore--and I hate this feeling. I'm tired of being dependent on guys, but I'd rather be in a relationship any day than to be out talking to random guys and stuff at a bar. I have no clue what I'm going to do, I wish I could see the future...