Dreams Crushed? Heard.

So I got my letter from dental hygiene school this morning...Deeeenied. Grrrrrrrrreat. So now I have absolutely no clue what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. Yeah, I could reapply next year and blah blah blah, but do I really want to go through five years of school PLUS not even be guaranteed that I'll get in next year? It even says on the application that if you take a class over again to boost your GPA that it's frowned upon because you should have got it right the first time basically. I don't even want to show my face at the dental office now after I wasted their time by giving me an internship and writing me my letter of recommendation and everything. More than anything, it's just EMBARRASING. I'm so used to getting everything I've ever wanted that it sucks so bad to be rejected at the one thing that could guarantee every dream I've ever had to come true.

I'm thinking about applying at VCU next year. Their application process is so much more slack than ODU's, I would only have to have a minimum of a 2.5(!!!!) GPA to get in there compared to ODU's 3.2-3.3. I don't understand how schools can have such different standards and yet the people who graduate are getting the same exact degree and are going to be making the same amount of money. It's freaking ridiculous. There's so many pros and cons about going to VCU though. I'll pretty much be guaranteed that I'll get in there, but yet I can't leave Drew behind, and I don't know if I'll be able to quit my job and find a new one in Richmond, plus be able to live on my own. I've been spoiled so bad by commuting to school and having my parents pay for everything, let alone having a job literally 3 minutes from my house.

I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:o

Reminiscing...

So for some reason tonight, I keep having these insane "I wish I could go back in time" moments, and I'm not sure why. Really, I think it's just because I miss all my old friends. I always knew that this day would come; all of us would go our separate ways into the "real world" and we would lose touch with a couple people, but I never thought I'd lose touch with pretty much all of them. Even my "best friends" I can't even call my best friends anymore. Drew is my best friend. But that's what I always wanted, right? To have a boyfriend that would also be my best friend and be my world? So why is it that I have recurring thoughts about how much I miss the way things used to be?

I'm definitely not complaining about the way things are right now, I'm happier than I've ever been in my life...it's just that sometimes I wish I had my girl friends there for me like I used to have them. It's my fault, I know. I spend all my free time with my boyfriend...but there's just days, especially when I'm stressed out, that I wish I had a girl to talk to about my problems.

The #1 thing I miss, though?
--I miss how innocent things used to be. I miss how in high school I used to get so much entertainment out of doing stupid stuff like driving around Poquoson, singing obnoxiously in the car, and sneaking around our parents to go party. I miss our girls night outs and our intense conversations about love and life which so quickly turned into being doubled over in laughter. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to high school, if just for a day, to have my friends and that innocence back. I've looked forward to this moment in my life for the past 19 1/2 years, and now that it's finally here, it's so hard for me to take it in. 2 more years, and I could have EVERYTHING that I've ever looked forward to if the cards play out right.

I feel like I'm getting so old, that I'm gaining so much responsibility with each passing day that it's almost overwhelming. I feel that I have so much pressure on me to do what I have to in order to make sure that my life turns out the way that I want it to. I can't even comprehend that my life is being shaped with each decision that I make in these next few years....and each one can either make or break me.