Reminiscing...

So for some reason tonight, I keep having these insane "I wish I could go back in time" moments, and I'm not sure why. Really, I think it's just because I miss all my old friends. I always knew that this day would come; all of us would go our separate ways into the "real world" and we would lose touch with a couple people, but I never thought I'd lose touch with pretty much all of them. Even my "best friends" I can't even call my best friends anymore. Drew is my best friend. But that's what I always wanted, right? To have a boyfriend that would also be my best friend and be my world? So why is it that I have recurring thoughts about how much I miss the way things used to be?

I'm definitely not complaining about the way things are right now, I'm happier than I've ever been in my life...it's just that sometimes I wish I had my girl friends there for me like I used to have them. It's my fault, I know. I spend all my free time with my boyfriend...but there's just days, especially when I'm stressed out, that I wish I had a girl to talk to about my problems.

The #1 thing I miss, though?
--I miss how innocent things used to be. I miss how in high school I used to get so much entertainment out of doing stupid stuff like driving around Poquoson, singing obnoxiously in the car, and sneaking around our parents to go party. I miss our girls night outs and our intense conversations about love and life which so quickly turned into being doubled over in laughter. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to high school, if just for a day, to have my friends and that innocence back. I've looked forward to this moment in my life for the past 19 1/2 years, and now that it's finally here, it's so hard for me to take it in. 2 more years, and I could have EVERYTHING that I've ever looked forward to if the cards play out right.

I feel like I'm getting so old, that I'm gaining so much responsibility with each passing day that it's almost overwhelming. I feel that I have so much pressure on me to do what I have to in order to make sure that my life turns out the way that I want it to. I can't even comprehend that my life is being shaped with each decision that I make in these next few years....and each one can either make or break me.