It's Just the Way Life Goes...

So I've decided............ I'm going to become gay..
Juussstttt kidding!

Haha but seriously. Every time that I think I've finally found someone to make me truly happy, something goes wrong. Shawn and I broke up two days ago--for good this time. And you know what, as much as I was upset and hurt that night, I honestly think that it was the right decision. He's a great guy and everything, but he doesn't realize how much people care about him and he takes it for granted way too much. There are so many people that know him that want to help him become a better person and come out of the lifestyle that he used to live, and it just sucks watching him ignore everyone and try to look out only for himself. He may be a lot older than I am, but he has a LOT of growing up to do compared to me.

Now, I know that if things continued with us and we got back together AGAIN...it wasn't going to help. I can't be in a relationship where I have to constantly worry about whether or not my boyfriend is feeling the same emotions I am. To be told "I love you so much but I'm not in love with you and can't love you the way that I should..." That hurts. To be lied to time and time again throughout a relationship--that's not healthy either. Maybe I should have learned the first couple times around, ya know?

I'm just so tired of being told that I'm the perfect girl and that I'm so mature for my age and beautiful etc etc...and then, be pretty much told that even though all of that is true, I'm just not good enough. That sh*t sucks. I'm so tired of it...I really am. I'm so tired of putting my heart on the line only to have it thrown around.

So here's to the guys that have hurt me, and to the guys that are going to in the future...

F*ck you =]

That's all I have to say.